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What a difference a year makes…

Written By: teamcharliebear - Jan• 19•14

It makes my head spin to think about all the events that took place over the last year.  I filed a lawsuit, lost my Grandmother and my job. Got a job, won a lawsuit, and I got engaged! At least I can say it has been anything but boring!  Oh I’m sorry, I haven’t told you guys about the engagement yet. It breaks down like this….

imageWe’d been ring shopping for a while so I knew this was coming….eventually.  Truthfully, he had gotten my ring size around last April, but clearly he was in no rush.  By the time he finally ordered my ring,  it wasn’t ready by our anniversary. Instead, I got a pair of sparkly and fuzzy boots/house shoes.   Well, at least it had sparkle to it..Ha!  Same thing happened with Christmas..no ring.  I figured he was going to ask me on New Year’s Eve because the kids were suppose to be with their Dad. We had plans to go to a friend’s house, but I got word that the kids would need to be with me after all.  I asked him if he was still going to the party and he said “not without you. I will just come hang out with you and the kids”. I was sure he wasn’t going to ask me in front of them. I knew we’d likely be in private when he did…I was wrong. He  brought the friends and the party to me.  Then the ball dropped.  He said “I think I got your glass, baby”.  He handed me an empty glass with the ring in the bottom of it, and said “will you marry me, baby?”  I guess y’all can figure out the rest ;)

He later told me that if Abigail and her friend weren’t being so rambunctious that he would’ve involved her in it. He was going to have her give me the glass. I was floored that he did this with an audience, and to top it off he was going to include my daughter in the whole ordeal. I love this man…He’s something else. Stick around…Mr. & Mrs. Smith (part 2) is just around the corner.


533625_10151142758661794_1550825269_nThere may be a wedding to plan, but my mind is elsewhere today. My thoughts are with my Mumsie and I can’t help but be a little sad. She can’t be here for all the things ahead.  Today is the anniversary of her death,  and it hasn’t gotten any easier for me to deal with the void she left.  To be such a small woman, she certainly took up a lot of space in people’s hearts.  Her laugh was contagious and sounded like home to me…I loved making  her laugh.  It’s not a great trait to be able to memorize dates and times by accident.  Apparently I have passed it on to my daughter. MUMSIE She brought it up about a month ago that she remembered  the day too.  She is with her father  hopefully not thinking about it.  When I spoke to her earlier she seemed ok and never mentioned it. I know what she means when she says it feels like just yesterday, but it feels like It’s been forever since I’ve seen her too.   Abigail  is absolutely right.  I can remember that day so clearly. It was cold. My cousin (I call her Moonshine) was in from out of town and she and I had been tag teaming staying with our Grandmother.  Mumsie had only had one wish and that was she didn’t want to die alone. I promised her I wouldn’t leave her.  We knew she was getting close on the 18th. She hadn’t even been able to respond for more than a day. She had lost the ability to speak before that.  She would sleep a lot and when she was awake she would look at me and point to her heart.  63595_10151224924371794_104675800_nThis meant “I will always be in your heart. You will carry me with you”  and was something that she had said to me a  couple days before she lost her voice.  I try to remember the good talks we had, but for some reason today I can still remember her suffering, and it still feels fresh. It haunts me at times.  Moonshine and her sister and I were the only ones in the room when she finally stopped fighting to breathe.  Every breath had sounded like a struggle for over a day, and I admit that by then I was praying she would let go. It killed me to listen to her lungs filling up with fluid. She was so graceful and strong. Beautiful inside and out.  To see her that way was too much to take. She deserved better… so much better than that.  At least she wasn’t alone. My cousins and I kept her wish, and she left surrounded by love.

I still haven’t been to her grave since the day she was buried.  I don’t know when I will be able to really face that.  I have trouble even taking the kids to their doctor’s office because it’s only two doors down from where my Grandmother lived…and died. Perhaps one day I won’t feel paralyzed every time I think about that night or see a clock on the exact time….but that day isn’t today evidently.

ME & MUMSIEIn closing I will tell you the story of how Mumsie got her name.  My Father didn’t feel comfortable calling her “mom” after he and Mom married. He said “Mrs. Luke” just seemed too formal. He decided that “Mumsie” suited her. He had heard it somewhere and it just stuck.  When my brother was born and began talking my parents said he had a terrible fit one day. He was asking for “Friendsie” and they tried every teddy bear and blanket or toy they could find but it wasn’t “Friendsie”.  My Grandmother use to stop by about everyday when she would get off work and visit with us. When she arrived that day my brother got very excited and started screaming “Friendsie! Friendsie! Friendsie!”  They finally realized she was what he was pitching a fit for.  No one knows why he started calling her that, but he did for a long time and then just stopped. When I was born and started toddling and talking everyone was calling her Mumsie.  Then one day out of the blue, I just started calling her Friendsie but I had never heard anyone do that.  What can I say? Just more proof that my family is just plain weird.  Funny thing is that we were right about her.  She was absolutely the best “friendsie” that I’ll ever have.

I bet she is somewhere beautiful….1544570_10151925523596794_914733827_n


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