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Do You Believe In Magic…

Written By: teamcharliebear - Dec• 21•13

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I know it’s been a good while since I’ve updated the page, and for that I apologize. Hopefully I can summarize before this becomes a novel size update..Heh, we shall see! Like it often is, life has been quite busy. I call this “Living at the warp speed of dumbass”. Although, that maybe a more accurate description of Nashville traffic now that I think of it…

Work has been fantastic! Have I mentioned how much I love my job? It rarely feels like work to me. I meet the most wonderful parents daily. Whether it’s a phone call from a worried mother or father searching for a lifeline to help their child. Or just sitting at my desk trading stories with the parents waiting while their child gets services. I am never at a loss for inspiration in this maze of autism that we are journeying through. These parents remind me of where I once was, where I am now, and what I hope to one day achieve. The dedication, relentless devotion, and unwavering stamina they possess is nothing short of extraordinary. I’m constantly learning something new, and for that I am truly grateful.

imageI have discovered the world to be full of more help than hate. Sure there are those that need to learn, but all to often I’m encountering those who are willing to. This past weekend was a fine example in just this kind of acceptance and generosity. Three weeks ago, I had been searching for hours online for an event like I had read about. You see, my kids had never been to see Santa. The limitations of ASD greatly to blame. Malls are overcrowded, noisy and a virtual hell for people living with the disorder…on a good day! Christmas hustle and bustle, sights and smells would make anyone with sensory issues the perfect candidate for a full blown meltdown. As a mother, you learn to avoid these at all cost. Bill Cosby once said “We as parents don’t care about justice. We care about quiet!”. This leaves those of us with children both on and off the spectrum in a precarious position. How do we supply for the typical child and protect the sensitivity of the spectrum child at the same time? Often times it’s the needs and wants of the typical children that get left behind. They have to be understanding, too grown up at their age just to accommodate. It isn’t fair, but it is just how things have to be. Not this year! I know that these events exist. You typically hear about them after the fact, where Santa came to a mall before it opened to visit with just these kinds of families. “Special Santas” who are sensitive to the needs of these diversified children. It was a fabulous idea, and apparently it was impossible for me to find! Two hours on the internet had proven it so, until…

imageI decided to use the power of social media. I asked my friends if they had heard of one of these coming to our area. What I got in return was nothing short of a miracle. They hadn’t, but this one person had a suit, and then another knew of a Santa. Before two hours was up a photographer had offered his time (free of charge) to take pics for our families! I was in awe. I had only wanted to advertise the event to our families at The Autism Foundation of Tennessee. Yet, now it looked as though I might be able to host the thing with an army of volunteers! The founder of AFT was on board with it being there and before the day was over one of my friends dropped off 120 candy canes for Santa to give away. I came into work the next day, still unsure if we had a Santa until I checked my messages. A darling couple I grew up with was doing a Christmas play. The man was playing Santa in the play and was officially one of santa’s helpers. “We want to help make your dream come true, what do you need?” It bears mentioning that not one of these volunteers has children on the spectrum. They just gave their time and resources for those of us who do. Now, I know I’m an adult pushing 40, but after ALL this? I dare you to tell me that Santa doesn’t exist!

imageThe mall events? They usually open thirty whole minutes early to let a few families do this, by appointment only. Us? We had a four hour block window dedicated to ANYONE who showed up. Crafts kept the kids busy while they waited, bracelets were made by friends of mine (E&L paracord). They were given to kids and parents at no charge. We had games overseen in our sensory room by a fabulous ABA, and each family got a private, quiet visit with our clauses. Yes, Mrs. Claus was there too. Charlie and Abigail got to see Santa for the first year ever at ages 7 & 9 …and I was one happy Rudolph. It was a magical day. Yes, I believe in Santa and Mrs. Claus. I also believe that acceptance of autism is alive and well, and growing by leaps and bounds. Can you blame me?

imageBefore I close this years final post… I wanted to mention a special elf that was there for all of this. My boyfriend, William Smith, who would no doubt rather have been watching football. Not only was he there, but the darling man wore an elf headband and vest for hours. All I did was mention it and he never complained. Not about the jingly bells, but anything else for that matter. To further sweeten his appeal he had a conversation with another mom while I was running around the AFT with my nose all aglow. I only just learned about this, but she asked him if he had any kids. He told her “no, but I will have a couple very soon, and possibly one more before it’s over”. It takes a special man to put up with my brand of crazy, but it takes an extraordinary one to consider someone else’s kids as his own! I’m not sure what I did to deserve a love like this, but I hope I can keep it up!

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imageToday is our three year anniversary. Our first date was suppose to be on Christmas. He was going to keep me company (as just friends) after my ex came to get the kids. It was to be my first Christmas without them..even if just a partial one, but I was still bummed. However, on the 21st I got in a fight with my brother and I can’t recall now what it was about. I only know it was my favorite fight we ever had because it led me to William 4 days sooner. Three hours into it, I was over that whole “let’s just be friends” thing. He was and is a great listener. He is my calming force, and my safe place.

imageI didn’t let him meet the kids for a year. We took everything slow…very unlike me by the way. He never uses them to get back at me, and he didn’t use them to get closer to me either. For those of you paying attention, HE is the one who inspired me to get Charlie the help he so desperately needed. That phrase “looks like if I had a kid w/autism I’d wanna know something about it” was him almost three years ago. You know something? He does know about autism, as do I now…and I love him for it! He helped me find my awesome and I will always be in his debt, and part of his team.

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Happy Anniversary, baby. Here’s to many more years of team Biscuit-Train, my wonderful Freight. I will love you forever…

I just called to say I love you… and maybe a few other things too…

Written By: teamcharliebear - Oct• 25•13

Chapter One: Black Eyed Whistlers and Bears Behaving Badly

black eyed whistler and Bear smile

A couple of  weeks ago during Charlie’s 4 hour long day of therapy sessions at the AFT my phone rang.  The personal phone  that never rings..unless it’s something I probably don’t want to know! The next clue I had that it couldn’t be anything  good was it was their Dad. We have a lot of trouble with phone calls and texts. Namely the fact that he never seems to get any of mine.  I prefer not to receive the ones I do of his because they’re usually less than happy. Being  that we are divorced for a reason this is a given, but my real point here is that when we talk it’s about the kids.  Specifically, it’s usually about what has gone wrong with one or both of them (sick, behavior problems, etc.) These things we generally communicate ..eventually…and I’m thankful for that much at least.  Even if the talks are no fun due to the subject matters they contain and such.

Naturally, when I answered I expected his usual of  “What’s your ETA?”.  I bring Bear back from therapy (as well as take him) on his weeks so he likes to be able to plan dinner around his pending arrival.  However, what I got was informed that my daughter had acquired a lovely black eye at school that day. “WHAT?!?  HOW?!” I was an hour away, probably more with traffic, and he still had about a half hour left of therapy. He informed me she had been playing football, she said something about kickball and that her eye was swollen almost shut! “You’ve gotta be kidding me!”  I said “how did they let this happen?” He put her on the phone. “Mommy?” …I am always Mommy suddenly when they are sick or in trouble or really hurt..This either irritates me or makes me want to get to them worse to make sure they are  ok..sometimes both! Yup, parenthood rocks! I still wonder why I got drunk enough to think it was a great idea sometimes. I asked her what happened and God love the kid, she sounds like a Muppet on the phone even when she isn’t being pitiful.  I couldn’t really make sense of most of it. I told her I would be there soon and I loved her.

When we got to the house Charlie was very interested in her eye. He wanted to poke at the lovely giant blue globe that had swollen up around where her eye should have been.  She wasn’t such a fan of the idea however. Though she did think his reaction was kinda funny. He seemed concerned about her in his own way, and I loved watching the two of them.   To see him explore her face, and to hear her giggle even thru that horrible pain.  That’s the stuff real life is made of. Our lives anyway… If you can’t laugh even during the tough stuff then you’re gonna end up being one seriously Sad Sally. Especially in this family!  No fooling! ;)

That Saturday went well enough and saw the three of us finally doing something I have wanted to do for years!  We actually went to a full fledged Pumpkin Patch!  William took us and I am really grateful to him for that.  We are getting dangerously close to the ages that they won’t care about these things anymore, and in this sense I don’t feel like I have been given the opportunity to be a “real mom” to them. There was always something keeping us from enjoying those family things. Some circumstance in the way. This year it would’ve been money if it hadn’t been for William making it happen for them.  I really lucked out with him.  He may not have any children of his own yet, but he couldn’t be any better to  mine if he tried.  One day he will make an exceptional father. I hope I am around to see that.

Oh but Sunday…that was a different ballgame all together!  Bear woke up with a burr up his butt!   It started with him waking up sick and ended with him in a full blown meltdown! I’ll say this, I know when I don’t feel good I don’t act like the best me I can be either. You would think I could keep my patience given my vast knowledge of this “autism thing” as I often call it.  Just when I’m being technical like that though.  I think I actually did pretty well when he woke me up at 5:30am on my first day to rest in two weeks. Even better  was how calm I remained when he continually threw up down my left side where he sits on the the couch!  However, when he decided to take out the aggression he had about the Ipad battery dying.. I about decided to call the Mommy Abuse Hotline on him!  For over an hour he pitched a fit and kicked, hit and clawed at me like he’s never done before. It started with him stopping every little bit to make sure I was watching. It’s completely for attention and I realize that. It doesn’t make it any easier to take though. I know that autism is, by definition, a developmental delay. That means, and I’m sure of this because I know my child (instincts you know)… I was basically watching a terrible two type ordeal in the form of my 7.5 year old child. Difference is he has Hulk like strength and this will only get worse with time. We need to get these behaviors under control now before I really get hurt!  Or worse, someone else!!  I know we will though. The ABA and appropriate peeps are all on the case and we will tackle it together. With consistency, love, and more consistency ;)

Chapter Two:  Happy Anniversary from Mama…& the government??

october 24 2012

October 24, 2013 will hence forth be known as the day I found out that some of the wars I have waged on my son’s behalf have finally PAID OFF!!  He has just been approved for “presumptive disability”.  Those that know us know we have been denied twice before and I find that ridiculous!  I now just have to continue to stalk them long enough to find out if he will in fact end up on TnCare Select insurance. Meaning, ALL his therapies will be covered from now on and I can take my SOUL off of Craig’s  list  trying  to raise enough money to keep him in said therapies!  Sweet baby Christmas!  It’s been a long time coming.  Seems there is always another war though.. for now let me finish this “longest blog ever”  on a happy note.

October 24, 2013 also marked the anniversary of something very special. Truthfully, in any relationship this particular day has a sense of valid importance. It’s just that in our case and those like it they tend to be so very gratifying due to the length of struggle, wait, and even the neigh saying people that believed it might never come to pass…We proved them wrong and it did!

On that day one year ago, and for the first time ever …Charlie told me “I love you” with words. I always knew of course. He is so sweet! He would look at me with those big blue eyes and I could just swim in them for hours it seemed. We’d talk for long spells of time without using a single word between us. He would study my face and rub it or my arm…there seemed to be this entire telepathic connection between us during those times. Then he would smile, put his hands on both my cheeks and lean toward me to kiss me. He was saying I love you then..actions do speak louder than words! Even still, as a parent you want to hear it. It’s a simple gratification that most of us with typical children take for granted. I still remember when Abigail said it for the first time, but only because it just so happened to be on Mother’s Day. Still the best present she’s ever given me  :) I also remember all the stories I would read about other moms of spectrum kids that had told them, and at much younger ages. I couldn’t help but compare situations and wonder if I would ever hear it myself. Hope tends to come and go and it’s usually coupled with the progression and regressions we all face when living with the disorder. Only natural. However, last October while at the AFT we were in the room waiting for Dustin (his ABA therapist) to return. Charlie had been on a good streak lately. He was repeating a lot of what he heard, and mimicking motions as well. A few weeks before this he waved and said (or rather he screamed) “HI” for the first time, and I fell apart completely!!! I’d been prepared for the I love you, but I had no idea one little two letter word could have such a profound affect on me! He’d learned a new social behavior and I was SO PROUD! So with Dustin out of the room I revisited my old goal of  by that year’s end I wanted MY I love you… “Charlie, look at me. Good, do this.” Pointing to myself I said “say I”. He did. “Good job! Now do this..” Drawing a heart with two hands in the air between us I said “say love”.  He did that too.  “Wow buddy, that’s great! Now point to me and say you” ..that took a couple tries but after a minute, and before Dustin returned he did it all together! Like a wicked awesome pro!  I then left his session and went to my car to cry like the big baby I am. On our video page  is a video of him saying both “Hi” & “I love you” that I took this summer just to capture it. It’s the one called “Hi Mama, Love You” for reference. He had already started adding names to his greetings by this point so you get that added bonus.  I know this is long winded(I should update more often i guess) but this was a big day for us and if you weren’t around last year then you missed the story when it happened. Thanks for celebrating it with us now though…
Happy anniversary Little Bear… Mama loves you so very much!

Heroes Come In All Sizes…

Written By: teamcharliebear - Oct• 10•13

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This past weekend could not have gone any better for Charlie, Abigail, or myself. Which, if you look at the way the past year…or few years have gone, that’s truly an accomplishment in its own right. Some tragic events did come to pass in the wake of it all. Quite a few friends of mine experienced some form of loss, and for a moment it made it hard for me to focus on the good. However, the truth is I know all too well what loss of every kind feels like thanks to this past year alone. Loved ones, jobs, and even pets have all been casualties of 2013 where I’m concerned, but look at me now! I have to believe that these low points for them are merely stepping stones to their happily ever afters as well. Though I’m sure it doesn’t feel that way and they’d probably slap me for saying so! It’s just the balance of things. We can’t truly appreciate the good without the bad. Oh, and you best believe ….I AM appreciative! Wanna know why? Of course you do…

We went to see the race on Saturday. By “we” I mean myself, my boyfriend of just under 3 years (William), the kids of course..along with my ex-hub (since he had custody those days), and a darling girl named Megan. She babysits special needs children and volunteers on occasion at AFT camps. We were meeting my bosses Rhonda and Karen as well as Karen’s son there. He is 12 and also on the spectrum, and Charlie adores him! So, yes, we had a crowd, and yes, it’s obvious that I was very nervous about how the bear would handle the situation. I wanted as many hands on deck as possible. Allow me to say this now, I am an idiot! I openly refer to myself as “A Hover Mother” and..I’m totally spot on about that.

When we arrived at the gate we could hear the qualifying races taking place inside. Jeff had warned me about the noise before hand and I considered bringing earplugs for myself during the race. I knew it would be really loud in the stands with all the cars going at once. My hope was that during the qualifying races, with only one car allowed on the track at a time, the noise would be at least a bit more manageable for my son. Maybe he could stay just long enough for a few photo opportunities at least so we could have the memory later. Then he and his sister could leave with their Dad if need be and I would fulfill my obligation to AFT. After all, Jeff was racing to raise money for them, and awareness to the cause. Still, I knew I’d never get away with putting anything in his ears or on his head to muffle the noise. He hates things touching his ears. That would insure a meltdown, no doubt! So the walk from the gate to the track was a long one and seemed to lengthen with each glance I made back and forth between the bear and the whistler. It probably looked as though I was watching an invisible ping pong game to most people! I let out a sigh of relief as we found the crew and I realized Charlie still wasn’t holding his ears yet! So far so good I thought.

One of the members escorted us to the track where we met up with Rhonda, Jeff and his spotter Wendi. Still no sign of meltdown and no ear holding. This was beginning to become ok after all. I took pics but Charlie absolutely refused to let go of my hand the whole time. It didn’t make it an easy task but I had a great looking escort..hard to complain for sure! Eventually he had to let go. I had left my boss’s gifts to Jeff and Wendi all the way back at my car and only two of us would fit on the four wheeler to go fetch them. Thank god I didn’t have to walk back though! Charlie almost went ballistic at first when I left him, but … When I got back he and his sister were sitting inside a couple of tires, just chilling. He was still pimped out in Jeff’s sunglasses… O’Neill had offered those up shortly after we got there because he was squinting from the sun. I tried to explain he doesn’t like things touching his face, but before I could finish Charlie was adjusting them and Jeff was laughing at me. He said, “looks like he’s doing fine with it to me”. He was fine with it too! So fine in fact that Jeff never got them back! He wore them after it got dark, and even walked right out the gate with them! Haha! I think he really liked Jeff, and looked up to him… It was pretty cool of him to give him those glasses too! Speaking of cool, we have a ton of pics from the event. So many in fact that I made an album on here for it. You can check those out at your convenience on our album page ;)

As for the race, technically speaking we didn’t win. Our hero caught a bad break with a break leak and had to pull out early, but honestly… I’m just really really glad he didn’t get hurt! There was a car that spun out in front of him at one point and his car tapped it. At the time I didn’t know he didn’t have breaks and I about had a heart attack watching it!! I truly don’t know what I would have done had anything happened to him while he was racing on our behalf. I don’t think I could’ve gotten over it. I worry about the guy all the time as it is. He’s always jumping out of planes and driving fast cars, but this time I was somehow responsible I felt and I’m just glad he is ok… Well sorta anyway. There’s been some fallout and he’s never happy when he doesn’t win, but here’s the way I look at it:

In just about a months time, Jeff managed to raise a little over $3,000.00 for The Autism Foundation of Tennessee. The ONLY place that would talk to me when they found out that Charlie didn’t have insurance! My child was considered uninsurable due to the “pre existing condition of autism”. Which is absurd! He was nonverbal , had almost completely stopped eating, and I was absolutely lost and desperate for help. Every single place I called hung up on me when they got to the insurance question. No joke! Not AFT. They said “we will work with you, we’re here to help”. I broke down in tears. I literally almost hung up outta reflex when they asked about insurance but I’m glad I waited because they said they’d help us! What’s better is they actually meant it! Two years later we are living proof of it. Last night while going thru my wallet I actually found the paper and post it notes I wrote on the day I called them! I can’t wait to show them to Rhonda and Karen today! It will crack Karen up…
My first couple weeks on the job I had post it notes everywhere and misplaced a couple messages. She bought me a notepad to help me get organized. Haha! These post it’s in my wallet with their info will tickle her..they’re SO ME!

My real point here is that whether Jeff realizes it or not, he WON Saturday! He brought a lot of my old classmates together for a cause that is so dear to my heart because it is in my home every day. It is my life, and my family’s life. Thanks to him a lot of them are more educated on the state mandated insurance issues. Thanks to Jeff we raised a good chunk of money for a facility that I KNOW will use it wisely and Charlie…? Well, Charlie went to a RACE! He didn’t hold his ears the entire time! He grew as a kid in ways I never dreamed possible last Saturday and I was in awe… Charlie got a new hero last Saturday in Jeff. I guess I got to be the really lucky one though… I left there with TWO, …but one was much shorter than the other….

What Is Autism? ~ by: Abigail Layne

Written By: teamcharliebear - Sep• 18•13

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Sometimes I think what is autism? Autism is something that some kids like my brother Charlie, also known as The Bear, have. It’s a disability. They can hear stuff we can’t like light. So, if a kid with autism comes to you and says “lamp off” then that’s why. Autism can be a sad thing or a superpower. Have you ever felt like you were painted into a corner or locked in a room and couldn’t get out? Some kids with autism feel like that. Other kids just live their life like nothin’s wrong. So if you’re sad about autism or if you feel bad for someone who has it, then all you have to do is think. They’re just like you and me.

I get by with a little help from my friends…

Written By: teamcharliebear - Sep• 16•13

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AFT made the Tennessean this weekend with the help of an old high school friend of mine, Jeff O’Neill. Truthfully, it probably could’ve happened a little sooner, but things have been a little hectic on my end! Let me give you the exclusive details on how this came to pass…and maybe even a little more about this Jeff character.

My first week on the job with the foundation was an event week. To say it was crazy would be an understatement. For someone that was hired to simply answer phones I found myself making raffle displays among other things, and I loved every second of it! Somewhere in the middle of this chaos I got a Facebook message from Jeff. A welcomed surprise as I hadn’t heard from him in years on a personal note. Sure, I get the invites to races when he is going to be in Nashville, and I always try to go..To no avail. Having two kids to juggle and one that gets sick a lot, it seems I can never pull it off! So I was floored when I actually read the message. He was excited about my new employment. So much so that he wanted to know how I felt about him using our logo and donating all his winnings from his October 5th race to AFT!! Let that soak in for a minute… I mean, ALL?? Not a percentage??? Yep, he even wanted to set up a conference call with the bosses to discuss that and a donation site for people to donate money till November. If that’s not enough he even agreed to put people’s names on the car that donate $10 or more between now and the cutoff date of September 28th. Here’s the official/extended press release for those that haven’t seen it.

Jeff O’Neill Racing to Partner with the Autism Foundation of Tennessee

Austin, Texas (September 13, 2013) – Jeff O’Neill Racing announced today that it will be partnering with the Autism Foundation of Tennessee (AFT) to help raise awareness of the organization within the stock car racing community and seek donations to support this worthy organization.
Jeff O’Neill, a well-known competitor in the Pro Late Model division at historic Fairgrounds Speedway in Nashville, will be carrying the Autism Foundation of Tennessee decal on his sleek, low-slung stock car for the final two races of the 2013 season – October 5, and November 2, 2013, and hopes to raise some funds for the Foundation as well.
“I am humbled and honored to be able to help such a great organization and the great group of folks at the Autism Foundation of Tennessee. What they do to help the kids and their families is simply amazing. Without the help of this organization a lot of families would not be able to obtain the support and assistance they desperately need. It has been a pleasure working with PJ and Karen and everyone at the Autism Foundation of Tennessee to make this happen,” an enthusiastic O’Neill said.
“The team’s goal is to raise $5,000 between now and November 3, and to help reach that goal I will be donating my winnings from the October 5 event,” O’Neill said. “And we have set up a website where folks can make a donation as well. To donate go to http://www.gofundme.com/4afqik or visit the Jeff O’Neill Racing page on Facebook at www.facebook.com/jeffoneillracing. On Monday, November 4, we will be announcing the total amount raised, so stay tuned!”
“We’re certain that displaying the decal on my car will draw attention to the Foundation,” O’Neill continued. “Hopefully, folks will come up and ask about the AFT sticker and perhaps get involved with the Foundation themselves.”
O’Neill is currently locked in a tight battle for the Rookie of the Year award in the Pro Late Model division and is only 14 points out of the top 10 in the championship point standings.
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AFT founder Karen Blake is, of course, delighted that Jeff has taken such an interest in her organization.
“When Jeff approached us about wanting to do this we were absolutely thrilled! It’s exactly this kind of generosity that has made our Foundation what it is today,” Blake said. “We’re always looking for new ways to make people aware of autism. It’s a serious problem and the number of people impacted by autism is growing rapidly with numbers reaching epidemic proportions.
“With the winnings from Jeff’s race and the money raised at Jeff’s donation site we’ll be able to provide even more services for uninsured children,” Blake explained. “The lack of insurance is something that many families struggle with and a big part of the reason my husband Steve and I started the Foundation in 2006. We have several new programs we’ve been hoping to start as well, and thanks to our partnership with Jeff O’Neil Racing, some of those dreams might become a reality. We simply can’t thank him enough!”
For more information about Jeff O’Neill Racing, visit his website at www.jeffoneillracing.net.
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Pretty impressive right? He is something else…but I’ve known that for years. Here’s something not a lot of people know, and he will probably kill me for telling ya! I actually went on a date with Jeff once all those years ago. Just once..on Halloween. Guess I’ve always been kinda scary so it fits ;) The thing is I never really dated in high school, and Jeff and I had only one class together…biology. We became good friends and that’s really all we ever were. I was more like one of the guys than most girls. I was raised by an ex-marine, had a mouth like a sailor, and was pretty easy to talk to. Probably a little too easy because I actually thought, or KNEW, most of those guys were scum and I wouldn’t have gone out with them anyway! So when my friends JP and Maelynne were gonna go to haunted houses and Jeff asked if I wanted to go on a double date with them I was surprised, but figured why not? He has listened to me all year and knows my only rule of dating is “whatever part of your body touches mine I KEEP! Choose wisely.” I, in turn, had listened to him, and well… We were going to haunted houses. I could make it look like an accident. ;)
They picked me up and on the way I dared him to trick or treat at a random house..no costume. Now Jeff was already about six feet tall, and as an adult who gives out candy I woulda smacked him! He evidently had charm even back then…cause he came back to the car with candy for all four of us! Haha! We proceeded to have a great night, and ya know what? He never laid a hand on me! He opened doors, made me laugh and didn’t even attempt to kiss me goodnight. Perfect gentleman through and through! We never went out again, but we remain good friends today…the same can’t be said for my ex husband so I wouldn’t change a thing! Haha! In all seriousness, I am honored to know him and even luckier to say he is a friend of mine. He has been at times when those were few and far between so it means a great deal. This charity donation of his.. It’s not new territory either. He races on the regular for Make a Wish Foundation, and now he’s going to help a lot of kids like my Charlie get the services they might otherwise not receive due to lack of funds and insurance. I tell ya, you could maybe find a better person than him in this world…but it’d be tough! Real tough!! image