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Abigail wrote a paper for school last week…

Written By: teamcharliebear - Aug• 20•13

Before I post her paper there are a few things I want to get off my chest.  There are no words for how I feel about my children. Words that can truly capture my emotions regarding those two simply haven’t been created yet, and I doubt they ever will be!  This morning, while drinking my first cup of coffee I happened upon something that really upset me. A hateful letter that’s gone viral overnight displaying  just how cruel some people can be toward a family living with ASD (autism spectrum disorder). It was the most vile, heartless thing I’ve ever seen. It displayed such a lack of humanity towards another human being that not only was I shocked, but  I was sobbing by the time I processed it all. I refuse to post it here…It has rented enough space in my head. I generally try not to cry in front of my kids. They of course know I’m capable of such emotions, but I try to let them see me positive as an example. This morning there was no hiding how upset I was when Abigail happened down the stairs, and I had to tell her what was wrong. This anonymous person exploited my fears of the worst possible case scenarios, and in just one paragraph they broke me.  Forget about the rest of the hateful venom they spewed. The worst part was what I knew to be my own fears for my son’s future seemingly slapped across my face first thing in the morning.  I was left staring down a barrel of a gun of doubt. What if …? What if  he can’t ever find a job because no one wants to hire him? What if no girl will ever love or want to marry him? What if..  I die and no one will take care of him? I was left looking at the very things that already keep me awake at night. Except, now I knew that the boogieman truly exist because someone somewhere actually put it in writing and had the audacity to say it. It was a heartbreaking reality, but here it was. I could either let it defeat me or I could use it as an opportunity. A chance to tell Abigail that yes, there will always be bullies. Yes, they will try and break you down and will say whatever they can to see that you do, in fact shatter.  I tried to reiterate the fact that we’re in charge of own happiness in life. Still I was visibly shaken and told her I may not always be here to protect Charlie from the negative ninnies of the world… That’s when she interrupted me…”But I WILL! I will make sure of it, Mama! I will make sure he knows he is loved and not less!” I just hugged her tight. It’s gonna be OK. One day,  if my attempts to find a vampire to marry so I can live forever do at long last fail… He will have her, and I am truly lucky. He teaches me that you can be happy no matter the circumstance. He is almost always smiling, and affectionate. She teaches me that sibling rivalry isn’t the only existence for brothers and sisters. Some of them do actually love one another, and protect each other at all cost. Thank you God for my sweet children. Maybe one day I can teach them a thing or two as well ;) For now, I’m content with their lessons to me. This paper she wrote for school last week is another fine example of how she wants to help others understand this “autism thing”. She says she answers the same question every day just about: “why can’t your brother talk?”  She tells her peers that he has autism, and what that means for him, for her, and for us. She will be 9 the last day of this month. I can’t believe how time flies, or that she really isn’t an adult already with the way she understands some things about the world at her tender age. I hope she will always exhibit the strength I saw today regarding such ignorant people. I’m so very proud of her, and of her brother who works so hard to learn everything. All the while keeping a smile on his sweet face.  I love every typo and misspelled word. It’s only proof she is still just 8, and most definitely my child! Ha! Bless her heart. I guess this is what they meant by “and a little child shall lead them”.  Well done Abigail. I love you!

 

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7 Comments

  1. Kimberly says:

    You have 2 very beautiful & very smart babies. They are smart, loving, kind, & an asset to this world because of you. You have raised them & taught them but more importantly you have shown them how to be the best them they can be. I am honored to be a part of yalls world. I love you all!

    • teamcharliebear says:

      We’re honored to have you in it sweet cousin. Love you too! Thank you for always being there… It means so much more than you know.

  2. Kelly says:

    Wow yes and the words

  3. Kelly says:

    Of this child have stolen my heart. She is so courageous and smart! she is an expert at making me smile and it feels good to know they will always have each other and she always has his back!

    • teamcharliebear says:

      You can say that again, my sweet friend! I’m SO GLAD that they have one another. When I gave this to William to scan for me this weekend as he was leaving I read it again before handing it over. I had to swallow a lump in my throat as I said “She’s his best friend” …and truly, she is!

  4. wanda Robertson says:

    My Dear Friend,

    As I sit here reading your post, and I know what letter you are speaking of, and I had the same reaction to it as you did. I say this with the utmost respect for you, You are an amazing mother with wonderful children. You have a daughter that will be turning heads in our crazy world to show people that children and adults like ours are not meant to be critizied or “Euthanized” Tell Ms. Abigail how proud of her that I am, she is definitely a leader among us, I am so happy to know that there will be people to take care of our wonderful children when they have so many negatives in their life. Happy to know that I have a friend like you and know that you have such a sweet and beautiful flower in your life ready to take on any fight she has to at such a young age. GOD Bless you ABIGAIL!

    • teamcharliebear says:

      Thanks Wanda! You are so sweet…I will make sure to read this to her. It will make her feel good to hear that. Love ya Lady!

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